A 4-year-old boy was in my audience! I’m not PG 13!
We make art out of what is given to us. Sometimes we are given the Taj Mahal, sometimes we are given a concrete wall. Whatever our view is, that’s what we have and we better make the most of it. I had a money-less long weekend but I was happily surprised over the pleasure I experienced creating an inventive recipe with a box of pasta and a can of olives.
I knew I was missing out on some fantastic summer finale in Cape Cod or the Hamptons. But hey, sometimes the small things feel good. Grounding. My old acting teacher said I wouldn’t be so driven if I had money. He’s right.
I was thrown for a loop at my last show. A four-year-old boy was in my audience! Ahh! I’m not PG 13! Take that kid home! According to his Dad, he sees a lot of theater. I wasn’t anything special. Still. Oh, and then there was that nice couple who brought me Scientology pamphlets. Thank you. Most people bring me flowers. Something new!
I met another gem of an agent this week. He gave me a horrible script to read with him (which incidentally had the women aggressively coming on to the man). He prefaced the reading by telling me that “You look like every other Actress and movie star in this town, so you better be amazing for me to even consider you!” (Hmm, that’s interesting,I thought my problem was that I didn’t look like anyone but Carol Burnett!).
In between phone calls and other interruptions, we finally read the scene. He gave me a curt “Thank you” and whisked me out of his office to see the next hopeful, a Shania Twain look-alike who was waiting in the hall. I wanted to break-out into “That don’t impress me much”.
I met with a literary agent over coffee. He wants me to write three chapters of a book. I have my first sentence. I’m really excited. I’m most excited that things feel like they’re really starting to move in my life. They were static for soooo long.
I’ve emailed half of the DGA Directory. I’m up to the letter “G”. A Sitcom Director came to my show last week. She received my invite and actually showed-up! We were in the middle of a great post-show conversation when we were informed that there was a bomb scare at the Starbucks across the street. I finally get a big Director interested and we have to evacuate!
Go figure! I never even had a chance to say “good-bye”. My first thought was to grab all of my props…I knew I would never find another bustier that would fit so well. I waited outside in my costume in front of 7-11 for over an hour.
I guess it turned out okay. My friend Lisa, who was at the show, said my next column should read: “Bombshell drops bomb”…”Superpower boobs”. “Rachel Bailit’s performance is so powerful that a bomb literally explodes outside the Lee Strasberg Theater. Don’t worry, the cops, sexy firemen, and bomb squad have made the area safe again to come-out and see “Sugar Happens”. I know I shouldn’t joke about it. But as they say, it’s all in the timing. And p.s., if you don’t know about my superpower boobs, then you HAVE to see my show ASAP!
One last thing, I’m talking to the folks at the HBO Comedy Festival. Wouldn’t that be fun? Oh, and a Yiddish club outside of Palm Springs is interested in me for a gig outside of Palm Springs. If I get that I probably won’t have to eat pasta and olives for a while.
Written by Rachel Bailit