Creative One-Two Punch
I hit a double-header. My show, with its new ending, was a great success and my “Desperate Housewives” episode, airing on the very same evening, scored me a multitude of congratulatory emails from around the country. Apparently, even playing a “skanky” character with teased rat hair and black-eyed circles was not enough to hide me. My play, on the other hand was completely revealing with no attempt at disguise. Adding a fourth character was a stretch. Where I faltered and stammered, I grew in closeness with my audience. They appreciated my candor and acknowledgement of my mistakes. They even found it funny. It made me human. It took away all pretenses. I’m finally where I want to be. In my own skin. And comfortable. I feel liked for being me, from the inside out. Not the other way around.
I went to see and support another one-woman show last weekend. The play is titled “Suburban Showgirl” and stars Palmer Davis. She’s magnificent. So much talent on one little stage. She had a line that keeps echoing in my head. “Sometimes the late bloomers stay fresh longer.” I’ve always been a late bloomer. But I never saw it as having a benefit. But perhaps time is on my side. After all, I didn’t make it when I was in the “O.C” stage and I was no Lindsay Lohan (in status or in sobriety). I’m only hitting my stride now. Why? Well for me, my late blossom had to fend its way through some serious thorns, wire fences, and growth. I had to grow from a girl to a woman. I had to possess myself. I take to take control of my creative reigns and make a choice. For me, it was the one-woman show. There’s no room to stay the “little girl” when you have to perform and entertain for 75 minutes. “the little girl”, “the little boy”…whoever it is, is a cute and charming companion when your snuggled-up in bed with a bowl of popcorn but not so cute when you are confronted with real adult issues in the world. The adult in us has to step-up at some point. And Hollywood does not demand this of us. Especially when it thrives on youth and the absorption of those ripe “beautiful” years. It’s actually intimidating to people to be around a self-possessed person. A person who knows what they want and asks for what they want. They are called “arrogant, pushy, self-absorbed”. But what is the real crime of knowing what you want and asking for it? I know a show like mine could seem narcissistic. And maybe it threatened to be at some moments. But ironically, what I’ve come to discover is the only thing I care about is not caring about myself on stage. Lessening my own importance while keeping my value.
Don’t shrink for others. It’s not cute. Even Shirley Temple had to grow-up, even Dorothy had to leave Oz. and even you, have to recognize that no container can hold you for too long. You’re simply too big a person. Fill your shoes; you have lots of steps to take and have others to fill. And be kind to yourself during the process because growing pains are tough. Take it one inch at a time. But appreciate your new height and stand tall.
Written by Rachel Bailit